I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
