ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize