i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wish you could order shots online.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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