Duck Duck Cougar?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize