Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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