ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
