You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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