I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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