I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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