There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
