Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
