I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We're too hungover to prance.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
