no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
