Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
