I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
