am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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