i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
