well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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