well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
