the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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