Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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