ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I need a burrito and a hug.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
