Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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