What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
