I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
