she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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