i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
