I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
