Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
