The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
