Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
birth control should be required to get into college
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
