Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize