i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
