someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
What a dumb baby whore.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
