Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
