My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
