Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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