wake up i wanna do it froggy style
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
