Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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