idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
