i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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