haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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