My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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