just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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