You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
