Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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