Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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