Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
operation have a gay friend backfired
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
