I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
