I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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