well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
