didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
