i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
