Where did you get a picture of my penis
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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