Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I bet he comes in French.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
