So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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