Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
