i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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