I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
