we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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