You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
