A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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