4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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