I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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