Whod you bang
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
