you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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