So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
