the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
