The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
